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Angel of Grief by *FeX*We were all downstairs and getting ready to start the homeschooling thing. And just like any homeschooling mother, I decide to crank up the Ipod and rock out to Jimmy Eat World to get the day off to a great beginning.
I was going to take out the trash but...."if you're listen-ing, whoa..oo..oo..oo..oo" forces me to drop the bag and start the "spinning free" and full on crazy dancing with the kids all staring. Lily yells out at the top of her lungs, "Mother- it's a magical song that makes you drop everything because you just have to dance to it!" I know this and she knows this and that is why we have such a great relationship.
But all of this blissful, calorie burning, spirit rocking elation stopped abruptly as the next song began.
"May angels lead you in" is a beautiful song, and before Wendy died I could listen to it and just sing along. But Wendy did die and someone put the lyrics on her my space page and voila, the song now is about losing Wendy and I weep for a lost friend. My dear Wendy died at 26 years old after battling cancer for only a year and a half. At her memorial service there were some strange elements that I could not figure out. When Wendy and I were close friends, she loved God and music and great books. At her funeral there were a lot of quotes from great books, but not much music and no mention of God. There were a lot of Angels and Fairies.
I had lost touch with my dear friend for few years and when I came back into her life, she was already dying. I tend to believe that she still deeply loved God and knew Him better than I do because she had tasted mortality in a concrete way. But I am not sure about all the angels and fairies and what that meant to her.
What is it about memorial services that make you wonder who the person really was? What is it about music that could have you rocking out at full speed one minute and weeping in a corner and contemplating the meaning of life the next? Lily is absolutely right. The songs are magical and they make you drop everything because you just have to__________!
I was going to take out the trash but...."if you're listen-ing, whoa..oo..oo..oo..oo" forces me to drop the bag and start the "spinning free" and full on crazy dancing with the kids all staring. Lily yells out at the top of her lungs, "Mother- it's a magical song that makes you drop everything because you just have to dance to it!" I know this and she knows this and that is why we have such a great relationship.
But all of this blissful, calorie burning, spirit rocking elation stopped abruptly as the next song began.
"May angels lead you in" is a beautiful song, and before Wendy died I could listen to it and just sing along. But Wendy did die and someone put the lyrics on her my space page and voila, the song now is about losing Wendy and I weep for a lost friend. My dear Wendy died at 26 years old after battling cancer for only a year and a half. At her memorial service there were some strange elements that I could not figure out. When Wendy and I were close friends, she loved God and music and great books. At her funeral there were a lot of quotes from great books, but not much music and no mention of God. There were a lot of Angels and Fairies.
I had lost touch with my dear friend for few years and when I came back into her life, she was already dying. I tend to believe that she still deeply loved God and knew Him better than I do because she had tasted mortality in a concrete way. But I am not sure about all the angels and fairies and what that meant to her.
What is it about memorial services that make you wonder who the person really was? What is it about music that could have you rocking out at full speed one minute and weeping in a corner and contemplating the meaning of life the next? Lily is absolutely right. The songs are magical and they make you drop everything because you just have to__________!
1 comment:
This is why I LOVE you! You are so incredibly eloquent :)
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